64. Learn to Hula -Done :)

Where to begin?

Why why WHY am I in this place again?! I can only be content with my decisions for a very short amount of time, and as soon as they start unfolding I rethink the entire situation. And it feels like every given week at least one part of my life is at the point where I change my mind. I can't be too upset about this because I feel like lately I have been changing my mind to make the right choices. I am super happy with where I am headed (the parts that I've decided on at least). I got way too much partying out of my system so I can relax that I won't be making those bad decisions again. I'm also SO glad that I am doing blue knights again. I really do enjoy being around everyone there and I just love playing music. Along with that I'm excited (and proud) that I have been practing more than I ever have before and it is no longer a huge chore. However, this rekindled love of music is causing my dilema. Yet again, I am really drawn towards being a music major. I am currently enrolled to attend CSU in the spring as a Natural Resource Tourism major. Recently I have been hoping that I could double major with that and music....but honestly, that does not sound like the best thing to begin half way through my sophomore year. I spoke my my advisor today and he let me know that my hopeful plan would be a very daunting and time consuming task. I do like college but I would like to graduate eventually lol. So, why don't you just change majors, you may ask. Well, being a music major requires an audition and it's already November. I don't think I can audition and be accepted as a music major for the spring semester. (Although I really do need to stop assuming and talk to Hollenbeck about it.)-WHOA....maybe I should just go to metro/UCD....new plan to think about.... Anyways- I am done with my core credits so I can't just attend CSU this spring and start music in the Fall, I need classes to take in January. And I can't just not go to school because I currently have a house that I need to pay rent for until May and the only way thats happening is if I'm in school, and I'm not even living here after December. ugh. I can't even type all the contributing factors, it's so ridiculous.
Ok well I guess I have a new option now. I can move in with Allison and go to Metro or UCD for music.
Benefits-close to BK, music major, many of my friends are in the area
Negatives- I wanted to help out with LHS indoor...kinda far, I'll have 2 rents to pay(my dad will pay one though...just kinda dumb still), it's not CSU
I feel like this option may lead to me transfering again....to CSU at some point. but maybe not. I really just need time to not be in school (CRAP! I just realized Metro/UCD would also require applying to the school duh!). So now I really just need to take a semester off since I'm so far from making any decisions, but if I'm not in school I will have to pay rent so I would have to stay in Colorado Springs since I can't pay 2 rents on my own but I dont want to stay down here cuz it's so far from BK! I'm so stuck......I don't even know where to begin....

What to do...

So I just found out that there is a new outdoor recreation center opening at CSU next semester and they are currently accepting applications. This could have worked out PERFECTLY! I was considering doing the outdoor adventure guide thing at Pikes Peak which would've made me extremely qualified to work there. And all of that would also correlate with my upcoming major-Natural Resource Tourism- which I think would also correlate with the fact that I want to do Americorps. Oh and I would have completed a few more things from my list (i.e. kayaking or rock climbing). So basically, it all could've worked out quite well....but instead I'm taking dumb required classes and working at Edible Arrangements.
I just want things to start working out finally. I wish I wasn't so indecisive but I feel like I am because I want everything to be great, and if one thing isn't great then I go looking for something better. For example...I currently love my job and love living with my sisters and I love a lot of other stuff about the Springs. BUT the school situation isn't too great so now I'm packing up and moving back north.
And I wanna be around people who wanna do stuff I wanna do. Sure my sisters and I are a lot alike...but I want to get more into all the stuff I mentioned before with the eco outdoor kinda stuff. They're not really into that. lol. And yet again I don't know if I should be doing indoor because it will take up so much time but it has nothing to do with what I'm planning on doing with my life.
Hmph...I'm happy now, I just feel like I'm not getting anywhere and I'm not sure how to make it better...I keep waiting for the next thing to happen in my life but it never turns out like I expect.

The List

So I officially amend #43 to "Eat fruit for 10 days." With that being said I can cross off #43, 46, and 89. And by the way, kumquats do not taste very good...very sour. And in a couple weeks I'm going to Hawaii and I can cross off #72, and hopefully I'll get to ride a zip line there which would be awesome!!! We'll see...
So far it's been a productive summer :) haha.

100 Things To Do

1. Ride in a hot air balloon
2. Run in a marathon
3. Live in Europe
4. See a concert in Carnegie Hall
5. Learn to play a bohdran (Irish drum)
6. Learn to ballroom dance
7. Sing kareoke
8. Ride the "scariest" rollercoaster
9. Kiss the Blarney Stone
10. Learn to bartend
11. See a play on Broadway
12. Read the bible
13. Learn to swing dance...well
14. Be a mom
15. Sky dive
16. Have sex in a library
17. Play in the World Series of poker
18. Drop-in on a skateboard
19. Try absinthe
20. Stay awake for 48 hours
21. Ride a bike across a state
22. Learn sign language
23. Buy a homeless person a meal
24. Take a random vacation
25. Learn to surf
26. Ride a horse bareback
27. Milk a cow
28. Ride in a taxi in New York
29. Camp in Oregon
30. Learn Latin
31. Stop at every tourist attraction on Kansas drive
32. Do the splits
33. Climb the incline
34. Snowboard in a bikini top
35. Own an exotic pet
36. Build a house
37. Travel to an unnamed island
38. Do farm work for a day
39. See fireworks from an airplane
40. Learn to trapeze
41. Wear roller skates for 24 hours
42. Write an article for a newspaper/magazine
43. Only eat fruit for 2 weeks
44. Have someone make a documentary about me
45. Ride a unicycle
46. Play night time golf
47. Get accupuncture
48. Knit a hat
49. Play paintball
50. Drive a hummer
51. Live out of a car
52. Donate an organ
53. Donate bone marrow
54. Pick up a hitch hiker
55. Hitch hike
56. Pretend to be pregnant for a day
57. Serve in Americorps
58. Be hypnotized
59. Go on a mission trip
60. Wear only dresses and skirts for a month
61. Bake cookies for a firestation
62. Attend a mass by the Pope
63. See a concert every day for a month
64. Learn to hula
65. Give someone a haircut
66. Be on the Price is Right
67. Flip a house
68. Graduate from college
69. Scuba dive
70. Make a room of legos
71. Get a tattoo
72. Go to Hawaii
73. Ride a zip line
74. Go splunking
75. Visit a pyramid
76. Have a hammock in my bedroom
77. Play chess in a park
78. Change a car's oil
79. Pet a koala
80. Give a gift to a stranger
81. Play bingo
82. Learn to french braid
83. Volunteer at a soup kitchen
84. See a professional tennis match
85. Make a scavenger hunt
86. Do the scavenger hunt
87. Spend the night in an igloo
88. Make a gingerbread house
89. Eat a kumquat
90. Go hang gliding
91. Go rock climbing
92. Oil pull for one month
93. Attempt a restaraunt's food challenge
94. Read entire Harry Potter series
95. Spend the night somewhere haunted
96. Write with my left hand for 48 hours
97. Take a belly dancing class
98. Go kayaking
99. People watch for an entire day (bring a camera!)
100. Learn to water ski

I finally finished the list! Now I can start doing stuff!!!!

So...I just got in my first real car accident, and let me tell you it was not awesome. It turns out I don't plan to text while driving anymore because I was looking down at my phone and when I looked up there was a stopped car in front of me. I slammed on my breaks but obviously not soon enough. Luckily the lady I hit was really nice about everything...she could probably tell I was freaking out a little bit. The entire time we were waiting around for the cops to come I just felt like crying. Then when I had to make a few calls to let people know and that made it even worse. For some reason when I have to say something like that out loud it makes me want to cry even more, but I was surprised I was able to hold it in. So the car that I hit just had its bumper hanging down a bit...but my car was a bit worse. The hood of the car was smushed back, antifreeze dumped everywhere, obviously my lights were crushed. So basically my car got towed, I got a $100, 4 point ticket and a court date.
I'm not extremely bothered by the fact that I don't have a car now. It kinda feels nice...I'm used to driving a lot! To Denver and Loveland many times a week, but for the first time this semester I'm just hanging out in my dorm. I had been thinking I should meet some people around here so maybe this is a good time to do that.
The part that does suck quite a lot is the money part. Prior to the accident, I have about $70 including everything I have in the bank...I'm broke. So this accident is the begining of a massive debt to my parents...ticket, insurance payments, car repair(if it's even fixable)...not to mention I'm still in the process of paying for Blue Knights.
I just want to end everything...not like kill myself or something, but I just want to not be in BK, not have to teach, not go to school, I'm just feeling overwhelmed right now. This kinda feels like a good time to start over...except for the fact that I'm in the middle of a bunch of things going on right now. But I think I could still look at this positively and just kinda change whats been going on, cuz I haven't necessarily liked how this semester has been going so far.
So hopefully this can all work out for the best...Wish me luck!